


Place of Worship

by writelikeitsgoingoutofstyle (twoandahalfslytherins)



Series: Convenient Group of Femslash Fics [1]
Category: Hamilton - Miranda
Genre: Chapter One and Two are like 'G', F/F, Religious Tattoo Artist Maria, Warning is for chapter three, fibromyalgia
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-06-29
Updated: 2016-07-04
Packaged: 2018-07-19 00:37:55
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 13,688
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7337509
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/twoandahalfslytherins/pseuds/writelikeitsgoingoutofstyle
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Three years ago, Eliza's boyfriend Alex not so much walked out of her life as disappeared in the middle of the night. And while part of her still thinks he could have made a better exit, she's eternally grateful for how it brought together the people he left behind.</p><p>Two years ago, a series of unfortunate accidents finally forced Eliza to the hospital where she received her diagnosis.</p><p>Today? She just wants to get a tattoo to honor what her body has endured, and as a marker of her budding acceptance. Call it a leap of faith.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

There were certain rituals that Eliza knew well.

Angelica liked to drink lemonade with fancy ingredients in the summer. Lavender or basil, various herbs muddled and experimented with. Enjoyed sipping drinks out on her back deck with her sisters. Peggy, without fail for the past decade, marathoned scooby doo cartoons while complaining that she should spend more time outside. But Eliza? Eliza liked the kind of rituals that were hard to pin down. Thought summer was the perfect time to shed her skin and slide into something uncomfortable.

Which was why she was currently sitting in the passenger seat of Aaron’s honda civic, staring out the window trying not to get nauseous as the trees blurred. Going out wasn’t something she indulged in often these days, and she would really hate if they had to cut their trip short before she accomplished her goal.

“You sure that you want to commit to this?” Aaron asked as he opened her car door.

At least he kept the incredulousness out of his voice. Of course, Aaron believed in the right to metamorphosis. Held his ability to change his mind about anything without having to explain himself to strangers close to his chest. Something he felt difficult should it be out there for their consumption. Alex, her ex, had often teased him about that, used to get drunk and pick fights to try and make him take a stance in public. It had been one of the man’s least attractive features.

Eliza leaned against the car, arms above her head as she pulled her hair up into a bun. “Thank you for coming with me.”

It’d been the right thing to say, Aaron softened as he wrapped an arm around her waist, escorting her toward the brick building. 

Three years ago, the star that had been Alexander Hamilton had disappeared in the night. A goodbye note, filled with kisses and love as he chased after a dream with the sort of singular passion usually reserved for martyrs. Eliza had spent a month trying to convince him they could manage long distance before allowing herself to fall into the void.

Had been pleasantly surprised to realize everyone else was still there, all the other planets that had been dragged into his orbit. Drawn together rather than scattered to the wind. She’d lost a lover and gained a support system.

Still didn’t know how to thank him for that.

“Welcome to The Revolution, I’m Hercules, what’s your pleasure?” A cheerful man at the front counter greeted them.

Eliza didn’t know what she’d expected, but it hadn’t been this. Perhaps walls covered in burly men and their art, or poster boards filled with generic pieces to be picked at leisure. Instead, Hercules stood behind a glass counter, and there was a selection of books on a coffee table off to the side. One of them was open, showing off a beautiful tiger that had been inked on someone’s back.

Each one belonged to a different artist, Hercules explained as he walked to stand next to her. Did they have any idea what they were interested in getting? Different artists specialized in different things and he might be able to point them in the right direction. Or they were free to look through them on their own.

When Aaron flopped down on the couch to give her space, Eliza raised an eyebrow. “You could always get a piercing. Those aren’t permanent. In fact, Hercules- what is that one called?”

It was probably rude, but she pointed to the silver ball under his bottom lip. Thankfully, he just grinned and jerked his head in Aaron’s direction. “Labret. It’d be hot on you, man.”  
An effortless flirt that Eliza expected Aaron to write off, did her best to hide her shock when instead Aaron nodded slowly, eyes dragging down the other man’s frame. “It does look nice. I’ll think about it. Today I’m here for her. Baby’s first tat.”

“Aw, we have a virgin,” Hercules cooed, turning his attention back to her. “So tell me, lovely, what are you thinking? Butterfly? Sunflower? Dolphin on your ankle?”

The part of her that had grown up being recognized wanted to chide him for his over familiarity. Being a Schuyler had afforded her a certain amount of respect growing up. But Eliza was trying to break away from that, and Hercules seemed like a good guy. Even if it was just his sales pitch.

Awkwardly she shoved her hands in the pockets of her jean shorts, trying not to feel self conscious about the way her thighs jiggled when she did. She’d still been debating where she wanted to get Peggy’s design when she’d picked out her outfit, ended up deciding on something that kept her options open. “Promise not to make fun of me?”

“Of course not,” The words were accompanied by Hercules holding up his hands, showing that he wasn’t a threat. “Even if it is a sunflower. I’ll be on my best behavior.”

“This is going to sound so weird.” It had when she explained it to Peggy, she didn’t expect this to go any easier. “I have a drawing if that helps? Basically, I’d like a bouquet of spoons. Preferably tied with a ribbon?”

Hercules tilted his head to the side, expression more subdued now that they were talking business. That or he’d taken her request to not be made fun of far more seriously than expected. “Let’s see that drawing. Is it just a sketch or is it the actual design you’re after?”

“My sister drew it, so if possible I’d really appreciate it being mostly the design.” Eliza pulled the folded up drawing from her purse, and Hercules took it with a quiet thank you. “I don’t mind a few tweaks, though, if it’ll help it flow better.”

Again, she wasn’t sure what she thought would happen, but the man clapping her on the back before disappearing into the back wasn’t it. Eliza sent a questioning look in Aaron’s direction, but he just shrugged and returned to flicking through one of the books.

What a help he was.

When Hercules reappeared, Eliza couldn’t keep herself from staring. Maria, as Hercules called her, was a fair bit taller than Eliza, wearing combat boots and a yellow sundress of all things. It didn’t seem like the sort of thing one wore to work. At least, not if one worked at a tattoo parlor. 

The dress had been a shock, the shaved head though? Suited the woman. Where she’d managed to find such bright yellow lipstick, Eliza didn’t know. Just knew it looked fantastic.

“So where were you thinking?” Maria asked, and Eliza resisted the urge to blush as the woman looked her up and down.

Professional. The woman was being a professional, just checking out the potential canvas. “Either my upper arm or thigh. Leaning toward the latter, though.”

“At least it isn’t the ribs,” Hercules said, tone serious even if his nodding was a bit over done.

“I heard those hurt.” Lafayette had gotten drunk one night and decided that there was nothing more he could do to show his love for America than to get a fireworks tattoo across his ribs. Which had been fine, except he’d woken up still determined. Apparently, he’d cried during the process. Eliza really hoped that she wouldn’t. “Not that I’m expecting it to tickle, but I figured I’d work myself up to a rib tattoo.”

Maria nodded as she knelt down, holding up the paper with Eliza’s design next to her thigh. “Probably a smart move. This the size you want it? We could probably blow it up a little bigger. Or give it a frame?”

A frame wasn’t something that Eliza had considered, but now that Maria had put it out there, Eliza hummed. “Maybe? If you think it’ll tie it all together.”

“Lemme make a copy of this. I’ll try to sketch a few options before my next appointment rolls in at 3.” The fact that tattoo artists had appointments was also something that she hadn’t thought about. Before she could panic about it too much, though, Maria spoke up again, “If you’re down, you can set up a time- or hang out here for a few hours. He’s my last booking of the day.”

That Eliza could do. As much as she reassured Aaron that she didn’t have any doubts, she wasn’t as sure that she could handle having to come back. It’d taken a lot of courage to make the plan to begin with. Far easier to swear she’d do it one day and keep putting it off.

Aaron massaged her shoulders as they waited and again she was struck by just how lucky she was to have him around. Lafayette was hilarious, Theo gave Angelica a run for her money in terms of wit, John wasn’t exactly the best with emotions, but she didn’t doubt for a second that he’d take a bullet for any of them.

But Aaron? Aaron would her hand through the worst of it, with no expectations. Had turned her down the night she’d gotten drunk and tried to offer herself to him. Braided her hair and reassured her that she was pretty, that Alex was an idiot for running after Washington, that no, he didn’t think of her as a sister- but that didn’t mean he thought they should sleep together.

Too close to sleeping with Alex, he’d joked. 

Eventually, Maria came back with a sketchbook, and Eliza poured over the designs. Picked an ornate frame for her bouquet with a little help from Aaron. 

Maria’s appointment turned out to be an older man who for all appearances, didn’t seem to have much room for another piece of ink. Eliza checked out his sleeves as inconspicuously as she could while he chatted with Hercules at the counter. Eventually, he too stepped into what appeared to be Maria’s room.

While Maria worked on the man’s tattoo, three more people came in. One almost immediately walked back toward the hall where the rooms were, either a regular or some kind of employee himself. The other two lingered around the counter, awkwardly bouncing ideas about piercings with Hercules.

Around five Maria and her client came back out and for the life of her, Eliza couldn’t tell where he’d gotten his work done. Which probably meant under his shirt. The pair exchanged a small bundle of cash, and then he was gone. 

Aaron squeezed her shoulder. “You ready?”

“Now or never,” Eliza said as she stood up and followed Maria toward the back.

It was a small room. Tattoo chair taking up a decent amount of space, though there was a bench for Aaron to sit, a small rolling chair for Maria. Tentatively Eliza perched herself on the tattoo chair while Maria fiddled with her machine.

“Alright, sweet thing, I need to clean the area. Are you okay with that?” Maria held up a wipe and Eliza nodded her consent.

Having someone that close to her crotch felt odd, but if she couldn’t stand the area being sanitized then there was no chance that she’d be able to handle the tattoo itself. Maria hummed as she worked, threw out a comment about usually needing to shave the area, but that Eliza seemed pretty smooth. 

Completely innocent, it still made heat rise in her cheeks. 

Once that was done, Maria leaned back. “So, we’ll start with an outline and then go in and do any coloring and shading that you might be interested in. You’re also welcome to come back and do that another day if it proves to be too much, though I do suggest letting me finish the outline in one session. If at any time you need a break? You just have to tell me.”

Eliza nodded along to show that she understood and Maria asked if she’d considered what color she wanted the outline in, or if she wanted color at all. She must have had a blank look on her face because Maria mumbled something under her breath before leaving to grab one of the artist books from the sitting area.

“Oh, that blue one really looks nice.” It reminded Eliza of the plates on display in her grandmama’s home. 

Maria tapped the picture for confirmation, the glitter on her otherwise black nails flashing in the light. “We could definitely do that. If so, are you going to want the spoons filled in? Or just shaded? And what about the bow? Knowing these details helps us pick out which shades of blue to use.”

In the end, Eliza handed over that decision to Aaron. She’d never done well with too many options, especially when they were all so close to one another. Besides, she trusted his eye. Aaron was one of the sharpest dressers that she knew. 

After a few minutes of deliberation, Maria and Aaron came to an agreement. The bow and frame would be the same color, a nice navy blue color. The spoons themselves wouldn’t be filled in, and their outline was going to be a slightly paler color. 

With the colors agreed on Maria snagged her outline from the printer. Explained that she’d be putting the outline on Eliza’s thigh this way and that she needed to speak up about the placement now or forever hold her peace. A joke that only dug in just how permanent this would be.

It wasn’t until Maria had the tattoo gun a few inches from her skin, asking if she was ready to start, that Eliza reconvinced herself that permanency wasn’t a bad thing. “I’m ready.”

“You sure?” Maria asked, shaved head tilted to one side. “You’re allowed to back out now. No shame. Gets significantly harder once I start, though.”

“I want this.” What was a little more pain in the grand scheme of things? “It means a lot to me.” 

With that reassurance, Maria brought down the gun for the first time and Eliza stared pointedly at a picture of an owl on the far wall. The outline would be the worst part, Maria had told her earlier. Something about the type of needle being used. Unfortunately, most of Eliza’s tattoo was outline.

“I understand if it’s personal,” Maria’s voice came from her crotch a few minutes later. “But I was curious about the whole spoon thing.”

It was personal, but Eliza knew she’d be explaining herself for years to come. Might as well practice her speech here. “I have fibromyalgia. There’s this thing called the Spoon Theory, which basically seeks to explain that sometimes things are more difficult for people with chronic illness. That we have to ration our energy or spoons.”

Thankfully Maria didn’t ask about the fibro. Didn’t chide her for putting herself through a tattoo if she was supposedly in so much pain. That was Eliza’s biggest worry. Living with an invisible illness meant that explaining herself came second nature, meant she was used to the looks. People who didn’t believe her.

Didn’t think that someone so young, so pretty, so wealthy could have problems. As if any of those things changed the fact that her body was basically attacking itself. 

But Maria didn’t express doubt. Just wiped away ink and blood and kept on working. Buzzing filled the air and Eliza struggled to come up with something to say. Talking was a distraction and distraction was something she desperately needed.

“So basically this means you’ll never be without again?” Maria asked as she finished up the lower section of the frame.

“Yeah-” Aaron threaded their fingers together, and Eliza felt herself relax a notch further- “At least, in concept.”

Angelica had been the one to stumble across the spoon theory after Eliza’s diagnosis. Eliza had come home to a care package filled with mostly rational things. Hot water bottles, blankets, cold packs, braces. Peggy had gone through the possible symptom list and replaced her light bulbs so that they would be dimmer and bought new fragrance-free detergent. There were blackout curtains and noise canceling earbuds. An eclectic collection of things for symptoms she wasn’t even dealing with yet but probably would.

But the sweetest thing? The thing that had made her cry. Had been the flower pot filled with different antique spoons. A joke to keep her spirits up, and in the end- it had meant enough that she wanted to tattoo it on her skin.

Even if it didn’t give her extra spoons, it would remind her of all the people in her corner and how much they loved her. At the end of the day, Peggy and Angelica would never understand what it was like to battle with the disease, but they didn’t have to understand it to know that she was hurting. To care.

The door creaked as it opened, Hercules peeking his head in. “How are we doing in here? Good? Can I get you a water? Crackers? A good book?”

“I don’t know,” Maria didn’t even look up as she spoke, “do you have any romantic comedies? Ooh, or just straight up trashy romance novels. I feel like I could put a hurting on one of those right now.”

“Not for you, you goob.” Hercules shook his head. “You’ll have to forgive her. Can I get either of you anything? I’m ordering pizza. Maria picked Chinese food last time.”

Eliza exhaled through pursed lips, didn’t speak until Maria pulled the needle back off her skin. “No thanks. Though a break sounds nice.”

Her initial plan had been to power through it. Get the outline done entirely without needing to get up- but considering she was tensing her other leg to keep from bouncing - the process was turning out to be more painful than expected. And that was saying something.

“Do you always feed your clients?” Aaron asked Hercules.

It earned him a shrug. “Only the ones who are here during dinner. Be rude to eat without ya, don’t you think?”

Practical. Aaron gave her hand a brief squeeze before letting go. “I might snag a slice then. Not too picky about toppings.”

“Anchovies it is!” Hercules shut the door before someone could protest.

Joking. Most likely. Not that it affected Eliza either way. As much as she appreciated the sentiment, pizza wasn’t on the list of things that went down easy. 

There was a cracking sound as Aaron stood up, and Eliza cringed in sympathy as the man rubbed his back pitifully. “While you take a breather I’m going to step to the restroom.”

Always proper in his speech. “Go pee. I promise not to let anyone do anything permanent while you’re gone.”

Aaron rolled his eyes before stepping out of the room, leaving her and Maria alone for the first time.

The tattoo artist was stretching, fingertips almost touching the ceiling as she stood on her tippy toes. “One of these days I’ll take up yoga and never have to worry about an aching back again.”

“Yoga’s nice, but I don’t think it works like that.”

More specifically, Eliza knew it didn’t. She’d been a fitness geek before everything happened. Yoga twice a day, before her morning run and right before bed. Green juices and fancy pedometers. 

The exhaustion had been her first clue that something was wrong, but it’d just made her try harder. She’d switched to cold showers in the morning, lemon in her water bottles. Taken a plethora of vitamins. Eventually the pain and the stumbling had made reality all too real and she’d been forced to the hospital after passing out near a major thoroughfare.

But, Eliza refused to be bitter. Or at least, she refused to be bitter these days. There had definitely been a grieving process involved.

Aaron eventually came back carrying two water bottles. She accepted one gratefully, making a mental note to thank Hercules as well.

Maria returned to her seat, rolling so that she was next to Eliza. “So, we ready for round two? I should be able to finish up the frame pretty soon. Then maybe another break before working on the spoons? Finish up with color after our dinner break? Or another day. Like I said, no shame if you need more than one session. I’d hate for you to not have any spoons left tomorrow.”

Which was sweet of her, really. “I’m already borrowing. The rest of the week the only thing I have to get out of bed for is to pee, so no worries there.”

“I, her ever faithful companion, will be there for the rest,” Aaron reassured Maria.

And if Eliza felt a tad bit annoyed that Maria smiled at him instead of her, it was just because she knew who was really doing the hard work. Not that Aaron wasn’t an absolute blessing.

“You two are a cute couple.”

The statement had just enough time to hit Eliza before Maria bent back down to finish the frame, knocking the breath out of her. Aaron rubbed the top of her hand, small circles. It was something they’d learned together- for days when most touch was too painful. 

When her breathing returned to normal, Aaron spoke up, “We aren’t dating, actually.”

Maria gave a pointed look at their linked hands before shrugging. “Whatever you say.”

“If I say I’d lay with her ex before I would ever lay an inappropriate hand on her, would you catch my drift?”

And oh. That was positively forward for Aaron. “We both know that’s a lie. You thought Alex was an overexcitable jackrabbit.”   
Maria scoffed, shaking her head slightly. “You know what they say, rabbits are pretty great in the sack.”

“Alas, Eliza’s the only one who knows and she refuses to kiss and tell.” Aaron held the back of his hand up to his forehead, feigning despair.

Part of her wanted to kick him, but it was a decent distraction and anything that brought Eliza out of her body at the moment was a good thing. Around her, Aaron and Maria continued to chat, listening when Eliza had something to say but not pushing her to be a part of their conversation. Before she knew it, Maria had finished not only the frame but the outline of the spoons as well. “Come on, we usually eat out in the lobby.”

Despite knowing that she wasn’t going to eat, Eliza relished the excuse to stand up. Aaron extended an arm and she nodded, letting him know that it was okay to slip it around her waist to support her. 

Hercules was perched on the counter, feet kicking as he chewed on his slice. He referenced the table with one hand- nonverbally letting them know that they could take what they wanted. Aaron snagged a piece of cheese before sitting on the arm of the couch.

Because apparently boys didn’t know what seats were.

Once Maria had picked out her own plate, she looked over to Eliza. “Sure you don’t want some, sunshine?”

“No thanks.” Prayed no one pushed it.

Between the crust and the cheese, there was no doubt that it would tear her stomach up and Eliza was already looking at a rough few days. She took the seat behind Aaron instead, tried not to feel too pleased when Maria sat next to her instead of on the other couch. 

“So I’ve got the meaning behind the tattoo,” Maria said in between slices. “But why now? What made you decide to take the plunge?”

“Summer’s always seemed like a good time for reinvention to me.” Getting a tattoo related to her fibromyalgia also meant accepting it as a part of her. It’d taken her almost two years to get to this place of self-acceptance and she was excited to see how much further she could go. “What about you? What was your first tattoo?”

In response, Maria stood up and Eliza watched as the woman walked over to Hercules. Without speaking, he unzipped the top part of her dress before twirling her around to show off her back. Most of the skin was covered by a stained glass window design. Maria stood there, clutching the front of her dress to keep it from falling for a few minutes before turning around so that Hercules could zip her back up. “My pastor once told me that our first churches? Are our bodies. It didn’t matter if we couldn’t make it to church on Sunday because church wasn’t a building- it was the people inside. Our job wasn’t to go to a place and talk about God, it was to bring Him with us wherever we went. I guess I might have taken it a bit literally.”

“It’s a beautiful piece.” And a beautiful sentiment, though Eliza wasn’t sure how she felt about it in reality. Could her body be a place of worship with the way it pained her? 

Maria thanked her and then cringed when she glanced at the clock. “It’s getting late. If you’re still sure that you want to color in the bow, we should get started on that.”


	2. Chapter 2

It was just after three the next day that Aaron texted her, letting her know that he and a few others were going to be coming over. Not to worry, he still had the spare key to her apartment from the last time she’d asked him to watch over her succulents. What did she want for dinner? No, Aaron wasn’t cooking, she knew better than to even think that. 

Around five she heard them coming, listened to the different footsteps with increasing dread. Apparently a few people meant their entire friend group, or possibly both of her sisters. Most likely not though. Angelica and Aaron got along a lot better than Peggy and he did. Eliza had never quite understood the quiet animosity that her youngest sibling held for the man, though she suspected it had something to do with Alex. 

A theory she’d never gotten confirmation on, though the one time she’d asked the man about it he’d flushed. When they were together, she’d been delighted at how close Alex and Peggy were. But the more she looked back sometimes, the more she could see what a bad influence he could be. Especially considering how naive and trusting her little sister was. All it would have taken was one lie or stretched truth about Aaron to turn her against him.

Eliza groaned as she watched the small gaggle of people coming into her bedroom. All she wanted to do was lay down, take a nap maybe. If not sleep, then listen to podcasts. There was an NPR one called invisibilia that she’d been meaning to check out during an off day. That wouldn’t be possible if she was forced to entertain company.

Lafayette was the first to sit on her bed, poking curiously at her bandaged leg. “Have we been putting lotion on?”

“Try sounding a little less serial killer, Laf,” Angelica teased, rolling her eyes when it became clear he didn’t get the movie reference. “Don’t worry about it.”

“You know he doesn’t understand pop culture-” Eliza pushed herself to sit up, meeping quietly when Lafayette hooked his hands under her arms to help- “Thanks. And yes, I’ve been taking care of it. Lots of lotion. Didn’t go through all of that not to.”

Aaron pulled up the computer chair so that he could sit next to the bed. “You’re lucky he isn’t offering to rub it in for you. He’s dying to see the piece.”

“You are all ridiculous,” Eliza said as she bent down to pull up the tape on her leg. “If you wanted to see it that bad? All you had to do is ask.”

The only one who didn’t lean in to look closer was Aaron, who conveniently excused himself with a comment about someone being at the door. Something that Eliza hoped was an empty excuse considering how many people were in her room already. 

Sated, Lafayette sat back, complimenting her choice in color. She was just about to tell him that it was Maria’s idea when Angelica spoke up. “Looking good. It’ll look real nice when you rock them booty shorts.”

Because Eliza wore so many of those. Still, she appreciated the sentiment. Aaron reappeared soon after, a bored looking John Laurens following after him.

“Burr told me that you got a tatt and I had to see it for myself,” he said as way of explanation.

As if he had to explain why he came over to a friend’s house. But then again, John always seemed shocked that they included him, like he still wasn’t sure where fit. It made Eliza want to hug him most of the time, but she refrained knowing he wouldn’t like it.

Aaron rolled his eyes. “We’ve been friends for three years and you still won’t call me by my first name. How would you feel if I called you Laurens all the time?”

“Doesn’t work like that,” Angelica said from her spot on the corner of the bed near Eliza’s feet. “Half of us do call him Laurens. Threaten to call him Johnny-boy. I bet he’d love that.”

“Remind me to never piss you off,” John murmured as he came closer, peering down at Eliza’s thigh.

Eliza was going to kill them all. Especially when John flipped Lafayette for joking that it was the closest that he’d come to a vagina since birth. Which, while a low blow, was probably true. John’s face was uncomfortably close to her crotch. Something he finally clued in to, if his stumbling back a few steps meant anything.

“It’s cool how tight they can get the lines with a real machine.” 

John had been the first of their little group to get a tattoo, back when Alex had still been around. The then nineteen-year-old hadn’t bothered to go to a shop, instead, he’d looked up stick and poke tutorials online and done it himself much to everyone’s horror. Not that the cannon he’d drawn looked bad, but they’d spent almost an entire month worrying about whether or not the poor boy would end up with an infection.

Between Eliza’s and Lafayette’s experience, maybe they could convince him to go to a real tattoo artist next time. “You would have liked my artist. She had a shaved head and a giant stained glass piece on her back..”

“Nice,” John drew out the word as he stole Aaron’s chair, not that he knew it was taken. “You should shave your head. You could rock it.”

“I’ll shave my head when you shave yours, how about that?”

One hand clutched to his chest, John shook his head. Dramatic asshole. There was little that John openly liked about his appearance, but those curly locks definitely made the list. Part of Eliza wondered if it had anything to do with Alex’s adoration, though she’d never had the guts to ask.

Across from them, Aaron ran a hand over his own lack of hair, shrugging. “I don’t see what’s so bad about keeping a tidy appearance.”

“Not a thing, my friend, do not worry your little bald head over it,” Lafayette teased.

Referencing for Aaron to take her recently vacated seat, Angelica shot Laf a scathing look, most likely trying to remind the man to behave. Aaron wasn’t exactly sensitive by any means, but Lafayette had a habit of accidentally taking things too far and not realizing when people’s feelings were getting hurt. “I’m going to go make miss priss here a salad, and the rest of us some Spaghetti unless there're any objections?”

When no one spoke up, Angelica left the room. Unfortunately, the absence of just one person didn’t make it seem any bigger. Not with the boys all crowded around. Lafayette nudged Aaron with his toe. “When are we going to see you with ink? You are the last empty one.”

“We all know Aaron isn’t going to get a tattoo.” Too permanent. Maybe if he adopted one day. Other than that, the chances were slim. “But he might get a lip ring. After all, they’re cute- aren’t they, Aaron?”

She expected Aaron to roll his eyes or argue but he just sent her a level look. “At least attractive piercers with them are. Not sure I’d be able to pull it off as well.”

“Ah, does little Aaron have a crush?”

Aaron shoved Lafayette’s foot away from him, apparently tired of the prodding. “Just because you’re a giant doesn’t make me little. I am a respectable average.”

“Yes, yes. Very respectable.” Lafayette’s nod was probably a little overdone, but at least he hadn’t tried to make a dick joke over it.

Though, John’s face clearly showed that he was thinking it. Perverts, the lot of them. “Nope, now I need to know about this dude. I haven’t seen you so much as blink at a dude since I’ve known you.”

Eliza grinned. “His name is Hercules and he is nice to look at. Man has tall, dark, and handsome down. Probably could bench press me. Had a really cool tattoo of scissors and thread on his arm, probably more. Aaron should ask him about it.”

“Just because your artist had to strip to show off her ink, doesn’t mean everyone has tattoos under their clothing.” Despite the slight defensiveness, Aaron didn’t seem too out of his element.

A sure fire sign of just how attractive he did find Hercules. Though her delight was crushed a moment later when he continued, “Besides, it isn’t okay to hit on people at work. I know I followed up his flirt, but I have to understand that his flirting is probably part of his work persona.”

Of course, Aaron was right about that. About Hercules. About Maria. No matter how much Eliza wanted to get to know the woman outside of work, it would be inappropriate. But it didn’t help that the woman had seemed so interesting. Eliza exhaled, blowing up a piece of her hair that had fallen across her face.

Snorted when Aaron reached over to brush it away. “It’ll be okay. There will be other men I can date and that can bench press you.”

“It’s almost as if he missed the part where I pointed out the fact that he hasn’t thought a guy was hot in years,” John muttered in Lafayette’s direction.

Who promptly reached across Eliza to drag John’s chair closer, leaning against her thigh in the process. Which, to put it lightly, hurt like a bitch. “Gilbert if you don’t-”

“I am so sorry!” He squeaked as he pulled back. “I only wished to share secrets with our friend Laurens.”

“Kindly do that somewhere other than my lap,” she bit out. “I am not Santa Claus”

Aaron sighed. “Do you want me to go grab your pain meds?”

“No.” But she was glad that he reminded her she had them. “They’re in my drawer right here. I will take a water bottle if you don’t mind fetching me one?”

“I will get it,” Lafayette said as a peace offering, bouncing off the bed and out the door. 

As petty as it sounded, she kind of hoped that Angelica would find a reason to keep him in the kitchen. Lafayette was great when she needed cheering up- not so much when she was dying for a nap. With his space vacated, Eliza rolled so that she was no longer sitting up but rather laying down horizontally from Aaron. Much more comfortable, even if it did mean Lafayette and Angelica would have to figure out somewhere to sit when they came back.

Laurens watched her for a moment, and if it was anyone else she would have stuck her tongue out at him. Instead she waited for him to say what was on his mind. “Tired?”

Not exactly the grand revelation she’d been expecting. “Little bit.”  
“Want us to go?”

Part of her wanted to say yes. But she loved her friends, and she was so grateful that they were willing to come around and support her. “Not yet. Yesterday just wore me out a bit.”

John nodded. “I bet. We could do laundry? And clean up. So we’re here but not here.”

Considerate and also probably a sign that he was getting antsy sitting in one spot. Not that Eliza blamed him. “That would be great, actually.”

When John took that as permission to go and grab Lafayette, Aaron stretched. “That’s my cue to grab your water bottle then. No doubt Laf’s talking off Angelica’s ear right now. Probably about her upcoming Paris trip.”

“Ugh, don’t remind me.” Eliza might not want to see her sister every day, but that didn’t mean she wanted her so far away.

Paris wouldn’t even be that bad if it weren’t for the fact that Angelica was planning on staying for six months. Not exactly a vacation so much as the company she was working for had opened up a new sector over there and they wanted Ang to fly out and help train people.

It was something that he didn’t comment on until he’d come back, holding out the water bottle for her to take. Reluctantly Eliza sat up to take it, thanking him when he reached into her side table to snag her pain meds as well. Once she’d taken then she flopped back across the bed.

“You know you can skype her while she’s gone, right?”

It took her a moment to connect what he’d said to her comment while he was leaving. “It’s not the same. I’ve gotten used to having her around? Obviously we were apart when she left for college but…”

“But that was before everything happened,” Aaron filled in.

Which was true. Angelica had just graduated, landed if not her dream job, something close enough when Alex left. It’d been easy for her to come around and eat ice cream. Maybe even watch a movie or two. She’d been a safe place for Eliza to complain about how much it hurt to be left behind.

Not that she’d expected Alex to give up his own dreams for her, no, Eliza hadn’t been that foolish. She just would have appreciated being part of the conversation. To have been told what was going on instead of getting a crap apology over the phone about how he hadn’t wanted a fight. 

Angelica had been the one person in her corner who hadn’t also been blindsided. Who had seen his desire for recognition and called a spade a spade. And still, she hadn’t thrown it in her face. Had let her grieve the relationship, helped her see the people who were still around.

Like Aaron. “You’re a literal angel, you know that right?”

Aaron made a face, clearly confused. “Unfortunately I’m earthbound. But I love you too.”

“Even if I’m a useless lump?”

Maybe fishing for compliments was wrong, but Aaron indulged her. “Just because you’re a lump today doesn’t mean you’re always a lump. You are just as much a part of this weirdo family as any of the rest of us.”

“What’s that about a weirdo family?” Angelica asked as she hip bumped the door, carrying a plate of pasta in one hand and salad in the other. The latter she handed to Eliza before taking the computer chair. “Is Aaron giving you the ‘I just see you as a sister’ talk?”

“Hardly,” Aaron said dryly. “I was just reassuring Eliza that it was okay she isn’t feeling well today. Yes, we’re all sort of helping her out- but that doesn’t mean she doesn’t contribute.”

“True,” Lafayette chimed in from the doorway, clearly having been waiting there for Aaron to finish speaking. “After all, if not for Eliza who would keep little Aaron from working himself to death?”

“Or remind him to eat when he gets in those weird moods,” John added as he added Aaron a plate before joining Lafayette on the floor with his own.

“Shut up.” Not that she didn’t love having her ego stroked, but not at Aaron’s expense. “Besides, I got plenty of practice doing that with Alex. And he’s nowhere near as bad.”

“Thank you for that addendum.” Aaron nudged her lightly with his knee. “And I do not work myself to death. I’m simply a fan of making sure things are done correctly.”

“Face it, Aaron,” Angelica said, waving her fork as she did. “You’re more like Alex than you ever wanted to admit.”

Mostly in a good way. Aaron typically considered himself lackluster, especially compared to their former friend’s passion- but the truth was, he was just as committed to the causes he believed in. He just also believed in not putting his foot in his mouth. Whereas Alex had no problem putting out article after article, getting into debate after debate, often times with half-cocked ideas that made no sense in the morning- Aaron made plans. Effective ones.

“I think that is a fate worse than death in his opinion,” Lafayette said from the floor. “He prefers to consider himself a polar opposite. The ice to our Hamilton’s fire.”

“Can we go back to making fun of me for liking the piercer yesterday?” Aaron asked. “At least he’s nice to think about.”

“Or Eliza could tell us more about this tattoo artist of hers,” John suggested. “What was it like? Did it hurt?”

As if John hadn’t shoved a needle into his own flesh to make his tattoo. But of course, he was usually much more worried about her pain tolerance than his own. “She was really sweet about it. Kept telling me there was no shame in taking breaks. Talked to keep me distracted. Honestly, I’m not completely sure what all she and Aaron talked about, though. You know how brain fog is.”

“You didn’t miss anything too exciting,” Aaron said. “Mostly she was explaining what she was doing and how the whole tattooing process works. Filling me in on the aftercare as well. Apparently Hercules, while not one of their main tattoo artists, helps touch hers up every now and then. She warned that might be necessary if you’d like to keep the colors.”

“I was afraid of that.” Except really, it wasn’t that bad. After months at a time of dealing with fibro pain, one had to learn ways of coping with unpleasant stimulation. “So long as you’re there to hold my hand when I go.”

Unfortunately she wasn’t able to keep the yawn out of her voice and Aaron patted her knee sympathetically. “Not much longer now. We’ll finish up eating and then Ang and I will clean the dishes. Do you need help getting into pajamas or are you just going to crash like you are?”

Eliza looked down at what she was wearing before shaking her heads. “Comfy enough. I’ll bathe in the morning.”

Or at least, she’d wipe down with baby wipes if she still wasn’t up for actually showering. Maria had mentioned that she couldn’t get the thing wet yet, and that she’d need to wrap it in a trash bag or something similar to keep it safe. Not exactly a sensation that Eliza was looking forward to.

Lafayette and John were the first to leave, the former leaning down to give her a gentle half hug even as the latter awkwardly waved at her from the foot of the bed. They both made their promises to stop by later in the week, maybe for a movie night, before heading out.

Aaron followed through with his promise, snagging everyone’s dishes so that he could take them to the kitchen, but Angelica stayed behind.

For the first time that night, Eliza was truly glad for the company. Despite being bone tired, she wasn’t quite ready to be alone. Needed time to process and unwind. Ease herself back to where she could actually curl up and go to sleep.

“I’m proud of you, you know?” Angelica said quietly, watching the door. For what, Eliza wasn’t sure. “Peggy’s beyond ecstatic that you actually went through with it. She apologized up and down that she couldn’t get tonight off to come and see you.”

“Work is work, I understand that.” For both of them. Their jobs were so important to them, and that didn’t mean Eliza meant any less. It just meant she had to share their time. Something she was going to have to do if either of them got in a serious relationship as well.

It made Eliza miss the days when they still lived together, the sleepovers with just the three of them. Pillow forts and popcorn. Terrible movies and gossiping about boys, girls, and anything that had piqued one of their interests.

Aaron stuck his head through the door to wish them a good night, made her promise that she’d text if she needed anything. Eventually Angelica stood up as well, stopping to run a hand through Eliza’s hair. “I should go. But promise me you’ll take care of yourself in the meantime, alright?”


	3. Chapter 3

There was a red dress on the bed, not to mention the green one thrown over the chair, and still, Eliza dug through her closet looking for one last option. Finally came out with a cute blue blouse that Peggy had bought her last year and a black flared skirt, holding them both up for Aaron’s opinion.

“I do think you’ll be most comfortable in that one, especially if you wear sensible shoes.” Aaron glanced around before pointing toward a pair of flats she had against the wall. “Maybe those?”

Eliza nodded. She could handle those for a few hours. With her choice made, she collapsed on the bed. “I don’t understand why picking out clothes is exhausting.”

“It might be the fatigue,” Aaron said with a shrug. Always the matter of fact, that one. “You don’t have to go tonight if you’re so tired. It’s not Angelica’s last hoorah or anything.”

No, but Eliza still wanted to spend as much time with her sister before she did go. Besides, how would she feel if she sat these last few nights on the town out, only to actually be unable to go to the last one? Some days were worse than others, and she couldn’t predict the future. Better to go when she could and make the best of the time they had.

“That’s why we’re doing this in the morning,” Eliza finally said, twisting her head to look at him. “I can rest for a few hours, change, rest a little more and then head out.”

Not to mention that Peggy and Angelica were already planning on driving separately. That way if she needed to go home, one of them would drive her and then return to the outing. Better than having to call an uber or risking driving herself if brain fog hit. The last time she’d tried that, she’d ended up in a random parking lot twenty minutes from home.

Aaron leaned down to grab the discarded choices, hanging them back up in her closet before sitting on the corner of the bed. “Does that mean you want me to go and let you rest?”

No, she wanted him to stay and keep her company. Patted her bed and hoped he understood, that he didn’t have anything to do that would require leaving. Obligingly, Aaron climbed into bed with her, careful not to touch even as he put his hands behind his head, eyes on the ceiling.

It was comforting having him there. Eliza allowed herself to relax into the sheets, listening to the sound of his breathing. In and out, almost perfectly even. She’d never asked, and he didn’t talk about it, but Eliza liked to imagine that Aaron meditated. That there was something there, a source for all that calm control.

“Are you going to try and sleep or can I talk?” He asked after a few minutes of quiet.

At the mention of sleep, Eliza had to bite back a yawn. “You can talk. No getting mad if I drift off, though.”  
It earned her a scoff. “Me? Get mad at you? Never.”

Another beat of silence and then “I was thinking about maybe going back on the dating scene. Going to some bars maybe on the weekend. Or Heaven Forbid, joining some sort of website.”

That was something that they’d made jokes about since Alex left. Every EHarmony ad on TV they’d elbow the other in the side, point and make a comment about that being what they were doing wrong. Obviously, they needed an app to hook them up with someone new.

As weird as the idea of Aaron on EHarmony was, the idea of him on an app like Grindr seemed stranger. Not that Eliza was under some strange assumption that the man never had sex, it just wasn’t something that she actively thought about. And John had been right the other day, Aaron didn’t exactly get around much when it came to guys.

But still, Eliza wanted him to be happy and if he was ready to date? She would be with him there every step of the way. Metaphorically at least. “Do I need to help you set up a profile? Maybe quiz the guys about what three words they would use to describe you.”

“Hardly.” The remark was dry, but Eliza knew that he was amused. “Not that I don’t enjoy lying with you like this, I just miss having someone to sleep with at night. Or go on dates with. Someone to impress, knowing that whether or not you made your mark, they were still going home with you.”

Which meant he was definitely looking for something serious, rather than a one night stand. Eliza wished him the best of luck with that. Hoped he was able to nail it the first time, wouldn’t have to keep trying to find someone. It’d been awhile since she’d been there herself, but the dating scene was exhausting.

“If there’s anything I can do-” Eliza began.

But Aaron cut her off, shushing her gently. “I just needed to know that you’d be okay with it. We spend a lot of time together, and obviously, best case scenario the new boyfriend becomes a part of our weird little family. But even if he does, it does mean that my attention will be split.”

Of course. Eliza wouldn’t make a joke about always being his number one priority, though she was tempted. Truth was, as much as she loved how much he did for her, she’d been waiting for this day to come. For Aaron to want more from life than his job and friendships.

That could have easily been a bitter thought, but Eliza found herself pleased instead that Aaron felt comfortable to share his concerns with her. “I won’t say something cliche about breaking his nose if he breaks your heart. But if anything does happen, know that I’m always here with a carton of ice cream.”

Aaron rolled on his side to look at her, expression fond. For a moment she found herself worried that he was going to say something ridiculously gushy, but instead he shook his head. “I’ll bring my own ice cream. That lactose-free stuff is interesting at best.”

“Mm, there’s a new kind out, though,” Eliza whined slightly. “I bet it’s better than the last batch we got.”

Aaron raised a teasing eyebrow. “If that’s the case, we should probably shouldn’t wait until I’m broken hearted to try it out.”

Tentatively Eliza reached out to squeeze his hand, smiled when he intertwined their fingers in response. Without meaning too, she found herself drifting in and out. Only woke up two hours later because of her phone buzzing, Peggy double checking that she was still in for the evening. Aaron gave her a gentle hug before making his excuses, promising to check in with her in the morning.

Eliza shimmed out of the yoga pants that she’d been wearing all day. Carefully undressed before taking a shower, taking advantage of the seat even though she wasn’t exhausted. The nap had definitely taken the edge off, though sleeping didn’t often leave her feeling as refreshed as it once had.

Finally, it was time to get dressed, and she sat on the edge of the bed to pull on her skirt and top, fiddling with the tuck until it was just so. A few moments to put on the barest amount of makeup and Eliza was left contemplating what to do with her hair. Settled for gathering it into a wet bun, making a mental note to not take it down while they were out.

Not long after she’d finished getting ready and grabbed a quick snack from the kitchen, Peggy knocked on the door and it was off to the bar with them. On the ride there, Peggy filled her in on who all was coming. Maria Cosway, Angelica’s long time best friend, the one that Eliza secretly thought might be a bit more than that. Peggy wasn’t sure whether or not John would actually make it, but she sounded hopeful.

Eliza fished out her cellphone at that comment, sending the man a quick text talking about how excited she was to see him later. A bit underhanded, possibly, but it would increase the likelihood of him actually showing for an hour or two. Though maybe Lafayette had already encouraged him to come. Even Theo had promised she’d be there.

Of their little family, Aaron was the only one not planning on going at all. Too much work to do, he’d said. Had pointed out, again, that it wasn’t like it was the last chance he’d have for seeing Angelica. That he’d make sure to grab lunch with her to make it up if his absence bothered her that much.

The venue, more than anything, was the problem. Eliza didn’t exactly drink either, but she didn’t have the same issue with being around those who were. Knew that it wasn’t worth arguing with him to join them.

“Alright,” Peggy said, “I will drop you off at the door. I know Angelica and Maria are already here, they snagged a table a few minutes ago. Not sure about Laf or Theo.”

If Eliza knew anything about Theo, the woman had been there before anyone else. She was one of those that believed that being on time meant showing up twenty minutes early. It was one of the reasons that she and Aaron got along so well.

Mindful of the curb, Eliza made her way onto the sidewalk and then into the bar. Quickly spotted her sister at a corner booth, all by herself. Something that finally made sense when Theo and Maria both came back sporting drinks.

A red one, with cherries in it, was pushed in her direction when Eliza sat down. “A Shirley Temple for the pretty lady,” Theo teased.

“Aw, you remembered.” Eliza took a sip, relishing in the bubbles. It was one of her few true indulgences. “Peggy’ll be here soon. She’s parking the car.”

“Lafayette’s waiting for John to finish showering,” Maria rolled her eyes. “Why that boy drags his feet so much, I’ll never understand.”

It wasn’t Eliza’s place to mention how much Alex’s sudden disappearance had wrecked John’s already questionable self-esteem. Instead, she shrugged and took another sip of her drink, glad to notice that there weren’t too many people in the bar yet. Sometimes too many loud noises could really knock her out of the game.

Less than fifteen minutes after Peggy finally made an appearance, Lafayette and John came strolling in. The frenchman had an arm securely around the other’s shoulders, steering him toward the table as if he expected the man to make a break for it. Which, given the way that Laurens was eyeing the bar, might not have been that far off of an assessment. In the end, they made their peace, Eliza getting up so that John could take the seat to the inside of the booth and the other man getting their drinks.

Lafayette ordered some complicated with whiskey and came back with a stout for John, muttering something about not knowing the name. Not that it particularly mattered, so long as it was too dark to see through, John was typically happy.

Angelica had one arm slung over the back of the booth, fingertips barely brushing Maria’s shoulder and Eliza sent her a knowing look. Bit back a snort when her sister not-so-subtly flicked her off in response. Theo and Maria were engaged in a conversation about modern artists, something about accountability and forms that went right over Eliza’s head but had Angelica looking love struck.

More toward the middle of the booth, Peggy and Lafayette were conspiring about dragging Aaron out next time. Eliza spoke up in his defense once before letting the subject go. Most likely it was all talk, anyway. Which only left John, who seemed more awkward than she did.

So Eliza allowed her gaze to shift toward the bar, freezing when she noticed two familiar figures. Couldn’t bring herself to look away fast enough, and before she knew it, Hercules was waving in her direction. It was obviously his night out, looking fresh in a wonderful navy shirt

And Maria? Handsome was the only word to describe her. Red button-up rolled to the elbows, with a pinstripe vest over top and well fitted slacks, just a hint of heel visible from where Eliza was sitting. And the smile that she sent Eliza was nothing less than knock out worthy.

Which she expected to be it. After all, they weren’t friends. It was nice of Hercules and Maria to acknowledge her, but they definitely didn’t have to step over to talk to her. And yet Hercules did, leaving Maria up by the bar so that he could ask Eliza how her tattoo was healing.

“Better than expected.” Plenty of lotion and tlc had her feeling pretty good about it, to be honest. “Thank you for asking. I was surprised to see you out here.”

Surprised to see him with Maria too, though maybe they were friends outside of work?

Hercules grinned. “Out here every Friday and Saturday night, just about. Best place in town to get a good White Knight.”

“It is the only place to get a White Knight, Monsieur,” Lafayette pointed out before returning to his own conversation.

So Eliza had been right that the usual drink was called a White Russian. Not that she particularly kept up with the menu. “Tell Maria that she looks great for me, will you?”

Because obviously, Hercules had done his job, he’d asked how her tattoo was doing and he was going to go back to his seat. Instead, he cocked an eyebrow. “Why don’t you tell her yourself?”

A direct challenge, and not one that she particularly felt like refusing, Eliza quietly excused herself for a moment to talk to a new friend. Tried to swallow her heart beat, remind herself that girls complimented each other all the time. Maria likely wouldn’t take it as anything inappropriate. She’d be fine.

Except on Eliza’s way over toward the bar, the room became a bit heavy, and she reached out to grasp Hercules’ arm to steady herself. The man stopped, seemed unsure of whether or not he wanted to help steady her further and ultimately settled for wrapping an arm around her waist, mostly carrying her over to the bar stool he’d been occupying.

Eliza should explain herself. Tell him not to worry, just feeling- except Eliza couldn’t find the word. Opened and closed her mouth a few times, growing frustrated at how silly she must seem. It was one thing to have to deal with this in front of Aaron or Angelica, even Lafayette. Something entirely different in front of near strangers.

“Here,” Maria said, handing her a glass of water she must have ordered. “I’d make a joke about being tipsy but- this is a thing, isn’t it?”

A thing was vague, but Maria’s gesture to Eliza’s thigh gave away her meaning. “Yeah.”

Collect herself. That was all she had to do, collect herself and apologize. Maybe still compliment Maria’s outfit. Instead of doing any of those things, she sipped the water, conscious of the way Hercules was standing right behind her. Not close enough to touch, thankfully, but enough so that if she wobbled, she wouldn’t hit the ground.

Another minute or two passed by and Eliza reached up to rub at her nose. At least it was a relatively low pain day and she hadn’t screamed or whined when Hercules caught her. “This is embarrassing.”

Maria shook her head. “Don’t worry about it, you’re at a bar. If there ever was a place that you could get away with a few stumbling steps, it’s here.”

Which didn’t account for the fact that what was so embarrassing was doing it in front of Hercules and Maria. Then again, Maria hadn’t pressed for details when she mentioned the fibro. Most people did. Maybe the woman knew someone else with it?

“I think the noise is finally getting to me,” Eliza admitted. “When we first got here, it was a lot less crowded.”

“Do you need to go home maybe?” Hercules asked.

Eliza shook her head, trying not to feel dizzy from that. “I’m here with my sisters and I’d hate for one of them to have to drive me back.”

There was something about Maria’s expression as she glanced over to the table that Eliza had come from, but Eliza couldn’t quite get a read on it. After a moment, the woman spoke up “Would it help to step outside for a little bit? I actually live within walking distance. Your sisters can have their fun and then pick you up when they’re through?”

When Eliza didn’t respond immediately, Maria reached up to rub at the back of her own neck awkwardly. “I know that’s a bit forward. I swear my intentions are innocent. You’re obviously not in a state to uh, do anything.”

Innocent. Not something that straight girls worried about. The part of her that wanted to celebrate that maybe, just maybe, she had a chance, was dwarfed by the awareness that most people didn’t want to deal with her condition. Between the fatigue and the pain, there was a reason she’d stayed out of the dating game this long.

Still, a girl could dream. Especially when Maria was being so nice to her. “That’d be really nice, actually. I just need to tell-”

Eliza waved a hand in the direction of her table and Hercules stuck his hands in his pockets. “Which one do you want me to go get? I’ll bring someone over here so that you don’t have to walk as far.”

“John.” After all, he was the only one who didn’t seem that engaged with talking to someone else. “He’s the one sitting on the outside now that I’m gone.”

Hercules nodded and headed over. Trailed behind John as the man made a beeline for her. “You alright? Dude said you needed to talk to me. Do I need to get Peggy?”

Anxious. Though Eliza couldn’t blame him. “I’m okay, got a little woozy. Can you let everyone know that I’m going home with a friend? And to text me when they’re leaving so I can give them the address?”

“You sure you don’t just want one of us to take you home now?” Eliza shook her head and John glanced around at Maria and Hercules, sizing them up. Whatever he found must have been acceptable because he slowly nodded. “Alright. I’ll let Angelica and them know. Call me if need me, though.”

Eliza promised that she would, and Maria made an offhand comment to Hercules about him being okay alone at the bar. At first, Eliza thought it’d been a joke, but the man looked around before shrugging. Pulled out his wallet to pay their tab.

“No one worth staying for,” he said as they made their way toward the door. “I’ll walk you ladies home and then catch an uber.”

“My hero,” Maria swooned. “Don’t worry. You’ll find a guy soon.”

“So you are-” Eliza cut herself off, realizing how rude it’d be to ask if the man was actually gay.

Unfortunately enough of the statement had already come out, and Hercules nodded. “Yeah. I am. That’s not a problem, is it?”

“My friend thought you were hot,” Eliza internally cringed. Aaron would probably consider this some form of betrayal, but thinking on her feet was never her strong point. Better to go with the truth. “But he uh, didn’t know if your comment that day had just been customer service or if you thought he’d actually look good with a lip ring.”

Maria made a face. “Lip ring? No. He doesn’t seem the type.”

“Labret,” Hercules corrected. “And you should tell your friend that the concepts aren’t exclusive. And that he’s welcome to come back if he ever wants to take that plunge.”

Eliza’s slip up seemed entirely forgotten as Maria and Hercules started talking about piercings. Apparently, unless a labret was vertical, it wasn’t correct to call it a lip ring. Something that significantly altered Maria’s opinion on whether or not Aaron would look nice in one.

The trio walked slowly, the other two careful to match her pace when she slowed down. They managed to get to Maria’s apartment sooner than expected still, and Eliza stood to the side as the woman unlocked the door. Sank gracelessly onto the couch when it was offered to her.

Hercules took the seat next to her. “You have a picture of him? I could point out which piercings I think would compliment his features.”

“Unfortunately he’s unlikely to ever do it,” Eliza said, even as she pulled out her phone. “Aaron can be a bit finicky.”

“He seemed like a good guy,” Maria commented as she put her feet up on the footstool, undoing her shoes not that she was home. “Of course, you know him better than me.”

“Aaron’s fantastic, he just believes in giving himself room to change.” Eliza shrugged. “That’s why I was teasing him that piercings weren’t quite as permanent as tattoos.”

They chatted for a little longer still, before Hercules sighed, muttering something about the time and how he should probably be leaving. Almost made it out the door before doubling back and asking to see Eliza’s phone. Confused, she handed it over.

Hercules tapped something out and then gave it back. “There, now you have my number. If by chance that number were to fall into the hands of your cute friend, I wouldn’t complain.”

Oh. Eliza stared down at her phone before promising that she’d give it to Aaron in the morning. Maybe his chances of finding a guy weren’t so slim after all?

“And then there were two,” Maria yawned on the last word. “Could I interest you in some hot chocolate? I have soy milk if that helps any?”

“That sounds fantastic actually.” At least it’d give her something to do with her hands until her sister texted.

Once she’d prepared the hot chocolate, Maria curled up on the other end of the couch, sipping quietly on her drink. They chatted for a while, about Maria’s work, about Eliza’s sisters, even gossiped about the possibility of Hercules and Aaron getting together.

But one hour turned to two, and the yawns kept coming and finally Maria rubbed at her eyes. “Why don’t you text your sister and let her know you can spend the night. Hercules can drive you home in the morning if one of your friends can’t pick you up.”

“I hate to ask, but do you have anything I could wear? This isn’t exactly…” Eliza trailed off as she referenced her outfit.

Maria stretched as she stood, spine popping as she reached for the sky. “Sure thing. I’ll let you take the bedroom. Just follow me.”

Eliza did, smiling slightly when they finally made it. Maria had attached some sort of cling to her window that made it appear like stained glass, and she could only imagine that it looked beautiful with the light shining through. There were candles everywhere, though whether they were an aesthetic choice or if Maria preferred their soft lighting, Eliza didn’t know.

Maria motioned for her to sit on the bed as she dug through her dresser, finally coming back out with a pair of gym shorts and a large white t-shirt. “Will this work?”

“Yes, thank you.” Eliza took them gratefully, sat and listened as Maria explained where the bathroom was and how Eliza could come and get her if anything happened.

It took her awhile to fall asleep in the strange house, but when Eliza finally did, she slept peacefully. Woke up not quite feeling refreshed, but at least not more exhausted than she had the night before. There were sounds from the kitchen, and Eliza mindlessly followed them.

Leaned against the doorframe as she watched Maria as the woman made some sort of scrambled egg. When Maria turned around to place the plates on the table, she paused. Made a small approving sound. “You look nice in my shirt.”

Innocent. Perfectly innocent. “Thank you.”

“Do you want to brush your teeth before or after breakfast?” Eliza wrinkled her nose, trying to figure out how to explain that she didn’t exactly keep a toothbrush in her bra. It turned out to be unnecessary when Maria let her know that there were a couple of disposables in the bathroom.

Oh, that was thoughtful of her. “Before breakfast then.”

Maria jerked her chin toward the hallway before heading that direction herself. Pulled a still wrapped toothbrush from the top drawer. Eliza stared at it a moment before pulling it out of its casing and sticking the bristles under the water. “Do you often have guests?”

Specifically, did Maria often have girl guests? Ones who she’d make breakfast for in the morning and let wear her clothes at night. Once she’d located the toothpaste, she started brushing her teeth, pointedly focusing on the task rather than waiting for Maria’s answer.

“I’m a fill in,” Maria explained, and when Eliza turned her head quizzically, Maria continued, “There’s a program similar to the Big Sisters, Big Brothers program that my church does. I don’t have a regular girl, but if someone is sick or needs to take a break, I’m a substitute of sorts.”

It wasn’t said to make Eliza feel ashamed of her unwarranted, but she couldn’t help the twinge. “That sounds like a fantastic thing. You’re a great person.”

Maria’s lip twitched slightly at that. “I just want to make sure that people have a fighting chance. Good role models make such a difference in young girls lives.”

There was no denying that. Eliza glanced around for a cup, thankful that there was a small dispenser right there. Once she’d rinsed, she turned to say something, only to realize that Maria was making her way back down the hall again.

Back to the kitchen where she pulled the eggs out of the microwave where she’d put them to stay warm. “I hope scrambled eggs are okay. If not, I can surely find something else.”

“No, I mean, this is great.” Really great. Slightly awkward and grateful at the same time, the morning felt a little too much like a morning after. It didn’t matter that nothing had happened. Eliza swallowed the first spoonful. “Thank you so much for your kindness. I don’t know that many people would have done what you did last night.”

That got her a soft laugh, Maria grinning sheepishly. “To be honest, I just wanted to spend more time with you. I don’t hit on clients at work, bad for business and all. And then I might have tried last night, but you weren’t feeling well and I’m not the kind of person that is going to make you think you owe me.”

Oh. Eliza stuck another spoonful of eggs in her mouth, trying to figure out how to respond to that. This not quite come on, but definite expression of interest. It hadn’t been what she was expecting.

Unfortunately, Maria took it as a rejection. “Please don’t worry about it. I’m still not expecting anything. Getting to talk to you last night was fantastic enough.”

“What if I wanted to?” Eliza asked, still searching for the right words.

Maria blinked. “Wanted to what? Worry about it?”

“No.” Not worry about it, but Eliza also needed to find something other than ‘you’re hot’. “I wanted to compliment your outfit last night. When I was coming over.”

“You wanted to-” Finally Maria connected the dots. “I. Would you still be interested this morning? I know it isn’t exactly how things usually go but- morning hookups can be pretty great too-”

Eliza wasn’t sure she wanted to be a hookup, though. Didn’t know that she was the type for one night stands. But then again, Maria didn’t seem like the time to screw and leave either, though. Even if they didn’t date- so long as they got to see each other again… “I’m sorry if I’m a bit rusty. I’m not sure what to say to move this from here to there.”

Slowly, Maria pushed herself up from where she’d been sitting at the kitchen table. “If there means the bedroom, by all means, I’m happy to escort you.”

Eliza laughed, reaching up to take the extended arm. Tried not to feel self-conscious about the goofy smile she knew had to be on her face. Allowed Maria to lead her back to the bedroom she’d slept in just the night before.

When they got there, Eliza climbed into the middle of the bed with a little encouragement, leaning back against a pile of pillows. Maria laid down to her left, reaching out to casually stroke along Eliza’s arm. Gentle touch. Not too much. The hand drifted to her face, just a whisper of pressure. “I’d like to kiss you, if that’s okay.”

Of course it was, Eliza was the one who’d said she’d wanted to move things to the bedroom after all. When she nodded, Maria smiled at her again, leaning over to brush her lips against Eliza’s cheek. A glimpse of contact along the corner of her mouth, her nose, and Eliza reached out to pull her in, pull her closer-

Soft. Maria’s lips were soft against hers, gentle and coaxing and Eliza opened beneath her. Leaned up into those lips even as Maria’s hand trailed back down her side. Eliza pulled her closer still, and Maria giggled, nipping slightly at her bottom lip before pulling back so that she could roll them over until Eliza was on top. “See, this way you can go at your own pace, Miss Rusty.”

Considerate. Eliza rewarded her with another kiss, this one longer. Carefully Maria undid the bun that Eliza had never taken down, winding fingers into Eliza’s hair. Not quite pulling so much as resting there.

Taking it as encouragement, Eliza moved down further, mouthing along the other woman’s jawline. Knew she enjoyed those kinds of kisses, as well as having her ears played with, hope the same worked for Maria. The woman in question tilted her head to the side, giving easy access to her neck and Eliza took the direction, shimming slightly so that she was further down the bed, one knee on either side of Maria’s thigh.

And yes, she was feeling rusty. Feeling tentative. After all, it’d been what? Over two years since the last time she’d hooked up with anyone, much less a woman. But a body was a body, and Maria seemed to have no issue quietly directing. Pushing her body up where she wanted to touched, or shifting so that something felt nicer.

Fingers pressed into Eliza’s sides, just under her borrowed shirt and above the hem of the slightly baggy shorts. Eliza pressed one last kiss to the hollow of Maria’s throat before shifting backward a little further, this time so that she could pull off her shirt.

Questing hands followed the line of exposed flesh, dark eyes meeting hers every step of the way. She hummed with pleasure as Maria finally got to her breasts, though the hands soon moved to her back instead, and Eliza went down willingly for another kiss.

Gasped quietly when instead Maria sucked one rosy nipple into her mouth. Nodded when the woman pulled back to ask if it was okay, and then again when she asked if Eliza would be okay on the bottom.

An awkward tangle of limbs later and Eliza was flat on her back and Maria had pulled off her tank top, arms behind her as she unclasped her bra and dropped it on the floor. Eliza licked her bottom lip, last night? Last night Maria had been handsome, but this morning she was nothing short of beautiful.

Instead of saying that, though, instead of calling her gorgeous or angelic, all that came out was, “I want to touch you.”

And thankfully that made Maria laugh instead of roll her eyes. “How about we get you out of those shorts first, and then you can touch me all you like?” And then, in a more serious voice, “If you’re comfortable with that? I’m not sure how far you want to go.”

Eliza wasn’t sure she’d get a second chance, wanted to take this to it’s natural conclusion. To show her consent she reached down to grip the fabric of her shorts and panties, planting her feet so that she could push them both off in one go. Cringed when she realized that she hadn’t exactly shaved down there.

Except Maria didn’t seem to mind in the slightest, bending over to pepper kisses along Eliza’s exposed stomach, one hand radiating heat against her thigh. She swirled her tongue along Eliza’s belly button, causing her to giggle and arch into the touch before collapsing back down into the bed.

“Spread your legs a lit- that’s right,” Maria murmured, and Eliza couldn’t stop herself from whining slightly when the woman kissed the space the tender skin of her inner thigh. “You alright with fingers?”

Logistically speaking, Eliza knew it wasn’t the sexiest way to ask that question, but at the moment, she couldn’t imagine anything better. Nodded, and then realizing that Maria couldn’t actually see that far up her body, spoke. “Please.”

“Such manners,” Maria teased, nosing gently at the top of Eliza’s folds. “Bon appetite.”

It was the last thing that Maria said before opening her up, fingers carefully tracing along the inside of her lips in a path that her mouth followed. Small kisses and then a little bit of tongue. Maria had no hair to pull or hold, so instead, Eliza gripped the sheets. Arched her back as Maria switched over to sucking and laving her tongue along the exposed area.

Eliza moaned as the woman followed through, one slim finger sliding inside of her. Though the feel was nothing compared to the magic Maria was performing with her tongue, quick flicks directly across her clit causing her to see stars. One finger became two, and Maria’s thumb took the place of her tongue, rubbing gentle circles around her clit. Switching sensations so that it wouldn’t grow to be too much. Eliza might have been rusty, but it was clear that Maria was not.

Indeed, was a master at her art. When Eliza informed her of that, Maria laughed, shifting so that she could lean up and give Eliza a kiss, fingers still inside of her. It was like that, Maria sucking on her tongue, that Eliza moaned, body shuddering as she came.

Some time later, Eliza came too. Flushed with embarrassment that she’d passed out instead of getting her partner off. That shame competed with fondness as she noticed the sheet that Maria had pulled over her.

“Oh!” Eliza turned to see Maria in the doorway, t-shirt on but nipples obvious under the fabric. “You’re awake. Phones next to you, you might want to respond to Aaron. He’s called twice.”

How long had she been out? “I’m so, so sorry.”

Maria tilted her head to the side. “For what?”

“I fell asleep-”  
That time Maria waved her off, grinning. “I consider it a compliment. Besides, I’m more of a giver than a receiver, anyway.”

Eliza gnawed on the inside of her bottom lip before deciding that there was no use in crying over spilt milk. Better to text Aaron and let him know that she was okay, and see if maybe she could seal the deal on getting a second chance. Next time she’d at least offer to get Maria off first, just in case.

Maria leaned down to grab her blouse and skirt from the night before, putting them on the bed next to Eliza. “Unfortunately, I have to get ready for work soon. Got a client who needs a touch up coming in at three. Can Aaron pick you up?”

The message on her screen said yes, at least. When Eliza nodded, Maria smiled again. “Fantastic. I’m going to get a shower. If you’re gone before I get out, remember to text me. Maybe we could get together sometime? Aaron and Hercules too?”

“That sounds wonderful.” And with that, she was left alone. Eliza took a breath to calm herself, to remind herself that it was okay. Better than okay, really.

Eliza had just finished getting redressed, getting ready to head outside to meet Aaron when Maria reappeared, a towel wrapped around her. Squeaked slightly when the woman leaned in to kiss her softly before moving to her dresser. “A kiss for the road,” Maria explained over her shoulder.

It was the kind of ritual that Eliza could get used to.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I just wanted to thank everyone for their comments! I don't always respond because I'm awkward and wouldn't know what to say- but believe me, every single one of them makes my day. 
> 
> For those of you who aren't aware, I'm currently on a self challenge to do a Maria/Eliza centric fic for every time that I've used them as a secondary couple in a different fic. (I'm also on a 10k fic challenge b/c the Hamilton fandom needs more fics that are more than 5k.) So if you have any prompts that you'd like to see, I'm listening.
> 
> I do not have fibro, as I started nearing the end of this fic... if there's one thing I might go back and change is to add more mentions of pain. I didn't necessarily include a lot of them because while I don't have fibro, I do have a few physical disabilities and one of them is chronic pain. And like many people with it, I've learned to sort of live in my head. It's nothing for me to be walking, realize suddenly that I'm limping and then all of a sudden be hit with 'oh god I dislocated my knee again I'm going to be sick' sort of pain. It's a coping thing? but not one necessarily everyone has learned. If you have fibro or a friend with it, and would like me to edit something else in the fic, I'm happy to chat and see what I can't fix. Accurate representation is important. I have had someone with it reading over this, but obviously, she is one voice. 
> 
> ..... in other, probably less serious notes, if you have a guide to writing 'receiving cunnilingus' I need it in my life. like everything I find for writing femslash is about the pov of the character doing the doing. also sorry about the soft euphemisms. I didn't want to use the P or the C word in this one(it didn't feel true to the characters and I know some people have visceral reactions to one or the other.) and Vagina sounds clinical.


End file.
